What's Your Story?

....I am going to tell you about the months that I had anxiety over getting sick. On February 13, this year (yes, I remember the date). I got sick on a field trip. Later that day, I started to worry that I was going to be sick again, because I had gotten sick 3 times that day already. I had this same exact issue the previous year, but I think it was a different thing I was worrying about. 
Two months passed and I was still worrying the same thing! I remember that during the months that I was anxious, I wouldn't talk about anything else but this problem. I would cry almost everyday because I was so tired of worrying. I kept saying " I'm just so tired of this". But it didn't change anything. I would cry, complain, frown, and anything that was the opposite of happy.
But do you know what I didn't do? I didn't decide! I did not decide that I wan't going to worry anymore. it was like this would NEVER end. I tried everything my parents told me to do like : Deep breathing, distract my self with fun activities, writing down and repeating bible verses...everything!Nothing turned the worry off like a light switch.
I started listening to Joyce Meyer messages/sermons on YouTube , and that helped a little bit. I also  read one of her books ( Battlefield of the mind for kids). Sure enough, little by little the worry started to go away.
It took a HUGE a whole lot of bible verse confessions, deep breathing, walks AND deciding not to worry.
I am still learning that in EVERY circumstance I should trust God. I'm also learning that I have power over my thoughts and that I can chose my own thinking.
I am proud to say that after ALL those months, I have pretty much crossed over the finish line of worry and anxiety.

That, folks, is my 6th grader daughter's write-up for her God-story assignment a few weeks ago( A summary of a time in your life that God helped you). She gave me permission to share it here.:)
2015 has been a great year. It had it's ups and downs, no doubt, but we have our trophies and scars to show for making it this far.. And we are have what it takes to go into 2016.Amen!
I want you to think back from January of this year till now: What's your God-story?

Cultivations Thoughts

The other day a friend of mine packed a piece of cake for me to-go in a Chipotle® restaurant brown bag. There was a story on the back of the bag that resonates well with me. The story titled Two-minute Alchemy by Paulo Coelho, is as shared on the brown bag:

A legend tells of a man who used to carry water every day to his village, using 2 large pitchers tied on either end of a piece of wood, which he placed across his shoulders.

One of the pitchers was older than the other and was full of small cracks; every time the man came back along the path to his house, half of the water was lost.

For 2 years, the man made the same journey. The younger pitcher was always very proud of the way it did its work and was sure that it was up to the task for which it had been created, while the other pitcher was mortally ashamed that it could carry out only half its task, even though it knew that the cracks were the result of long years of work.

So ashamed was the old pitcher that, one day, while the man was preparing to fill it up with water from the well, it decided to speak with him.

" I wish to apologize because, due to my age, you only manage to take home half the water you fill me with, and thus quench only half the thirst awaiting you in your house"

The man smiled and said: "When we go back, be sure to take a careful look at the path"

The pitcher did as the man asked and noticed many flowers and plants growing along one side of the path.

" Do you see how much more beautiful nature is on your side of the road"? the man remarked. " I knew you had cracks, but I decided to take advantage of them. I sowed vegetables and flowers there, and you always watered them. I have picked dozens of roses to decorate my house, and my children have had lettuce, cabbage and onions to eat. If you were not the way you are, I could never have done this. 

We all , at some point, grow old and acquire other qualities, and these can always be turned to good advantage.

I hope this story encourages  someone out there who at some point don't feel relevant or feel inadequate....

Marriage Is Designed Mainly For Men!

Before you bite my head off, hear me out, okay....LOL!.... Please understand that this post is not a feminist piece nor is written as an attack on the institution of marriage. I am married  to a wonderful man and lovin' it! 
I would like to share my thought processes on why I think that men benefit disproportionately from marriage compared with women. Although societal views may differ, both biblical and research evidence supports this assertion.

First of all, the passage in Genesis 2 (Verse 18-25) , which records the creation of man suggests that God foresaw that men would need help and would not handle loneliness well......*hehehehe*.... 
Verse 18 says " God saw that it is not good that man should be alone: I will make him a helper  suitable for him ".
Interestingly, recent research findings support this biblical perspective.
 An article in the 2/23-3/2/15 Time Magazine edition titled "Do married people really live longer?" states that the so-called "marriage effect" doesn't appear to benefit men and women equally..

The Terman Life-Cycle Study- an ongoing research project that began following more than 1,500 people in 1921 - found that whereas steadily married men  were more likely to live substantially longer than divorced  or remarried man, divorced women lived almost as long as their married peers.

"Women who thrived in a good marriage stayed especially healthy", explains Howard S. Friedman, a professor of  psychology at the University of California, Riverside, and author of the Longevity Project, which continues to build on the Terman research. It further states that "women who stayed single, got and stayed divorced or were widowed often lived quite long without the burdens of husband trouble. They have good friends instead". This is consistent with other research that shows that strong social connections and friendship are especially important factors in healthy aging.

 A few months ago I wrote a post about "what men and women gain from the marriage institution". Although not exhaustive, the list of benefits for men is slightly longer than that of women. 

My conclusion: 
Men benefit from marriage more than women do, although there are advantages for both sexes. For me, the main benefits that I have  experienced are: Emotional support and sense of commitment.
So men, Appreciate your wives. In the words of proverbs, she "adds years to your life" -  literally.
For the guys out there, that are still looking for "the one", make sure she is a friend. :)

Reach Out And Touch!

We are all in pursuit of something. We all get caught up in our own struggles and every day routines. Unfortunately, we can become so self-absorbed that we get disconnected from people around us.

In today's world where self- dependence and competition have become our mantra, and where digital and electronic distractions abound and compete for our attention, we need to be reminded more often about the importance of community, family and friendship: of being supportive of each other, helping one another and of being present in the moment when with others.

 

An African proverb says:"If you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to go far, go together".

*Years ago, anthropologist Margaret Mead was asked by a student what she considered to be the first sign of civilization in a culture. The student expected Mead to talk about fishhooks or clay pots or grinding stones. But no. Mead said that the first sign of civilization in an ancient culture was a femur (thigh bone) that had been broken and then healed.

Mead explained that in the animal kingdom, if you break your leg, you die. You cannot run from anger, get to the river for a drink or hunt for food. You are meat for prowling beasts. No animal survives a broken leg long enough for the bone to heal.

A broken femur that has healed is evidence that someone has taken the time to stay with the one who 
fell, has bound up the wound, has carried the person to safety and has tended the person through recovery. Helping someone else through difficulty is where 
civilization starts, Mead said.

..So, then the question that come to mind is: Is civilization more evident in today's world?

♫Reach out and touch somebody's hand, make this world a better place ♪....- Diana Ross

*Culled from a devotional.

From the Inside Out!

Woke up one morning with bumps and rash on my arms  and trunk. I ran through a mental list of possible causes and ruled out the new medication that I started a few days prior. 
I ruled out dietary causes, jewelry, clothes, but thought it could possibly be a reaction to a new hair product. 
Nothing changed for a few days, though oral anti-histamine and steroidal anti-itch cream gave some relief. 

As a pharmacist, I knew enough to institute empirical treatment with topical steroids and oral antihistamines.  
This did help, but I could not stop puzzling over what the cause might be. 
While researching this topic, I stumbled upon an online article in Woman's Day that listed rash as one of the many manifestations of stress. 
Here's the excerpt from the article;

 It sounds strange, but your skin can be a pretty good barometer of your stress level. "Stress can cause a rash, usually raised red spots or hives on the stomach, back, arms and face," notes Dr. Lombardo. "While we don't know why it occurs, some experts believe that it has to do with the adverse effects of stress on the immune system—histamine is released, causing these itchy bumps."

That was a wake-up call.  I realized the tendency to underrate or downplay the importance of emotional health in many cultures (including mine) has negative outcomes. 

Research strongly backs the notion that many health conditions are either caused or exacerbated by stress and emotional/psychological disorders. Often, tension, stress and other emotional disorders that go unrecognized or unacknowledged manifest as insomnia, back pain, tension/stress headache, stomach or intestinal and even sexual problems.  

Women, especially, need to pay attention to physical symptoms that may herald unrecognized emotional distress - feelings of listlessness, irritability, heaviness, stress,  angry outbursts etc. 

It is important to create some mental “space” and to develop healthy coping outlets that allow processing of strong emotion and to have healthy outlets for those emotions and frustrations. 

Helpful coping mechanisms include: Sound Sleep, Meditation, Prayer, Walking, Leisure reading, to name a few.
Stay well...Be well.xoxoxo

Summer Musing....

Hello Beautiful People,
Summer is upon us officially.....schools are out, flowers are blooming, the grass is growing, and its family/vacation time! It's difficult to believe that it is the middle of the year already!

Along with the literal change in the seasons, we are in a season of change in many other arenas, globally and locally, especially within the United States. 
We are witnessing unprecedented changes in many areas, including the legalization of same-sex marriage in many countries, increasing attention to gender/race-identity questions, global conflict in many areas, as exemplified by the rise of the Islamic State. 
This year alone has seen the Affordable Healthcare Act ratified. We have seen on camera a law enforcement officer charged with protecting the lives of the citizenry, abuse his power and commit murder. We have seen tragedies and natural disasters resulting in an unimaginable toll in human suffering ( famine in some parts of Africa, earthquake in Nepal), race-based hate-crimes in South Carolina and North Carolina, and economic catastrophes in Greece. 

It is difficult if not impossible to foresee how all these changes will pan out, not to mention planning for the impact it will have on the economy, family unit, workplace, faith, and society.

One can surmise that these events will ultimately and definitely require a shift in our thinking and perspectives about how things should work, about relationships, about child rearing, money, life, etc. The question remains:
 How does one remain a good citizen  while maintaining calmness in the face of all these tsunami of change?

My personal resolve is to do the following:

• Pursuing lasting legacies instead of distractions/irrelevancies.
• Adding value rather than engaging in empty competition or self aggrandizement.
• Building others rather than destroying.
• Working and striving for peace.

As the Chinese proverb says - "May we live in interesting times".......

Science Of Heartbreak

Isn't it just wonderful that science does have an explanation for virtually everything? The other day I wrote a post about "The Science of love" and I wondered if there would be an explanation about the events that occurs when we "fall out of love" (That's if there's anything like that). 

So I did a little research, couldn't find science behind "falling out of love" yet (maybe one of you geniuses out there can point me in the right direction) , but did find the scientific explanation for heartbreak, though.

 Apparently, heartbreak is medically referred to as "Takotsubo cardiomyopathy", also known as  'broken heart syndrome' because it often occurs due to an emotional or physical shock. 

From The Science Blog: According to studies on heartbreak and how it affects people, most of whom women, (It almost always happens to women and patients are typically in a critical state during the first 48 hours), a connection can be found between emotional pain and a literal form of heartbreak- heart attack.  Depression is documented to affect its host physically and so is the case with heartbreak. 
"Our hypothesis is that massive amounts of these stress hormones (such as metanephrine and normetanephrine are released in excess with addition to proteins such as neuropeptide Y, brain natriuretic peptide, and serotonin) can go right to the heart and produce a stunning of the heart muscle that causes this temporary dysfunction resembling a heart attack," says cardiologist Ilan Wittstein, M.D., an assistant professor at The Johns Hopkins University School of Medicine and its Heart Institute. "It doesn't kill the heart muscle like a typical heart attack, but it renders it helpless."

 So folks, if you are going through a heartbreak whether from a broken relationship, loss of a loved one, or disappointment of any sort,  I sincerely empathize. *hugs and kisses*
 

Old Clover Is Dead!

                        Our pet rabbit, Clover, died today.*sobbing*
He had one of his hind legs broken by a moving vehicle-He had a bad habit of hiding under parked cars.
I didn't realize such a "small" injury could lead to death.....I'm guessing he died so quickly because of his age and size..
He didn't make it to the vet.....Injury happened around 8:30am and he was dead before 11am...*sad* ....Just when we were about to head to the clinic. I tried getting him to a vet immediately, but couldn't find any animal clinic in my vicinity that looked after rabbits, except one....and the one I found had a long waiting list...
Clover was such a good pet. He is the only pet I have felt attached to so far in my adult life...
This photo of him is the one I took and posted on our neighborhood page when he went missing a few weeks ago. He was later found in our next door neighbor's yard, munching on their flowers.
                        Adieu, Clover. You will be missed. 

Be Angry...

Hi y'all....Doing okay, I hope...?...It's been a "roller-coaster" these last few weeks. *sigh*
..Oftentimes when we get too busy, we get into the vicious cycle of being overwhelmed and stressed, being emotional/angry/upset at every little thing.....and in the end someone might get "hurt".
I have something to share about anger...:)....This is for couples, but I think anyone can get a thing or two from this.

Once upon a time....
 A young thirsty lion and an equally thirsty cougar arrived at their usual watering hole at the same time. Immediately, they began arguing about who should drink first. Their argument quickly escalated into rage, and the two animals started clawing at each other. However, the fight was interrupted when the 2 animals caught sight of vultures circling overhead, waiting for the loser of the fight to fall. The thought of being eaten was  enough for the lion and the cougar to end their fight.

 When anger flares, respect is key to expressing anger. Respect will lead to a discussion of the anger rather than one spouse swallowing their anger in silence leading to bitterness and resentment. Respect leads the spouses treating each other as helpers and advocates not as adversaries. And when that happens, the vultures retreat and no one get " eaten".-Nancy Kennedy

Culled from NIV Couples' Devotional Bible.

5 Nuggets For the 5th Month!

Happy New Month, people!

We made it through the first quarter...yay!

Below is the video of Bishop T.D Jakes's 5 tips for happiness on the Steve Harvey show. I find the tips very practicable and helpful, especially "challenging your own story" and "enjoying the journey", because these are areas I am still working on.

I hope you all find these tips applicable in your life journey as well.

1. Own your happiness.

2. Challenge your own story.Change the way you talk to yourself.

3. Enjoy the journey, the whole process in life.

4. Make relationships count, with God, with yourself, with family with friends.

5. Balance work with play.

Faith Vs Common sense.

Hi people!....Hope the sun is shinning and the grass is looking greener on your side of the "garden"...Meaning: Hope life is treating you well...:)

I recently read an article on slatemagazine.com about how religion can influence risk taking in small or even in significant ways. For example, a study showed that the mere mention of the Divine can increase willingness to take risks (such as looking at potentially harmful colors just to prove that if God 's name is involved, then any endeavor is attainable, regardless of the implications).
This can have very real and potentially life-changing ramifications, such as seeking out a potential life-mate, or venturing into a new career path. 

In real time, however, it often seems that what faith and common sense dictate can contradict each other, and it can be difficult to determine which path to take.

Case in point: Our family recently attended a church meeting,  which was terminated early due to adverse weather conditions resulting in dangerous driving conditions. As we left the service, my husband and I remarked to each other about how differently this would have been handled back in our native, highly religious Nigeria: citing faith, the meeting would likely have continued regardless of convenience to the worshippers, perhaps with resultant loss of life or exposure to the elements leading to avoidable illnesses. We concluded that this was probably why life expectancy is higher in this part of the world -  where prudence and common sense are employed in the out-working of one's faith and not excluded from it.

So, my question to you is: Have you found yourself in situations lately where faith and reason seem to collide? How have you worked out what to do in those situations?

Happy Easter!!

....Wishing you all a renewal of Hope....
Let all dead dreams receive life..
Let there be growth, birthing and re-birth....

Garlic Helps To Go Or Stay??

I have always been fascinated by natural remedies/ herbal medicine. I think with proper regulations herbal medicine has a lot to offer in terms of disease prevention and management.
The other day at work, a colleague of mine and I were discussing the benefits of natural remedies and she mentioned using garlic for the treatment of diarrhea…That was news to me!
She said her mum, who is a nurse, recommended it to her when she had travelers diarrhea while on a trip to India. What is the dosage, I asked, and she said she chewed one to two raw garlic cloves for  3 to 4 times a day for 3 days and it worked!
I only know about the proven benefits of garlic for cardiovascular disease prevention and heard recently about the benefits of garlic for the prevention of cancer and the common cold.
So, I did a little research, got conflicting findings about the use of raw garlic for the treatment of diarrhea, some studies like this one reported that raw garlic can actually cause diarrhea, while another study indicates garlic's benefits in the treatment of stomach ulcers.
 Diarrhea is often times caused by viral or bacterial infection and garlic is known to have antimicrobial properties. However, there are yet to be adequate studies to support the use of garlic (raw or processed) as an anti-diarrhea and the safe/effective dosage is still unknown.

Thoughts?

P.S  The University of Maryland Medical Center reports that typical safe intake falls around 2 to 4 grams of fresh garlic per day -- each clove is about 1 gram. 

Let's Go Cruisin' II

Hope your week has been going okay. This is the continuation of last week's post on the boat cruise I went on late last year. Below are some of the photos of the places we got the chance to visit.....Enjoy!

*The "Daydreamer". A sculpture behind the Key West Museum of  Art and History.

Sculpture in front of the Key West Museum of Arts and History

The famous Mallory Square, location of the Sunset Celebration.

The Conch tour train.

*The famous 0 mile road that marks the end of the  US Route 1 that runs from (North to South on the East coast)  Maine to Key West,FL

Information kiosk at the port in Cayman Islands.

Key West, FL, viewed from the ship.

A road sign in Corzumel. 

Painted ceramic skulls are popular home decor in Corzumel.

Entrance to the Turtle farm on Cayman Islands

Never seen so many turtles all in one place before!

Part of a unique rock formation in Cayman Islands. It is now a tourist attraction popularly known as "Hell".

*Description of the rock formation.

*Images copied from the internet.

Let's Go Cruisin' !

How are you folks "marching" forward this new month?.....
Just wanted to share some photos from a recent trip.
One of the events on my wish list is to go on a cruise ship, and guess what!.... I got to do it! .....woot! woot!...*breakdancing*
We went on a cruise the week of Christmas '14, with friends and family. We were 32 in number, including children. It was a 7-day, 6 night cruise on the Carnival Freedom cruise ship. Boarded the ship at the Port Evandales in Florida, stopped at the following destinations on days 2 , 3 and 6: Key-West, Cayman Islands and Corzumel-Mexico.
The ship, we were told has a capacity for over 2,000 guests, and it is just a normal size ship! Some of the guests we were on the ship with commented that the ship is just average in terms of amenities and services...Oh well, I have never been on a cruise , so there was nothing to compare my experience with. All I can say is, it was a fun experience. It has about 12 floors, an amphitheater, 3 swimming pools, about 3 restaurants, shopping galleria, a spa, a gym, a daycare for children, a casino and some rooms for different  events.

                                                     Side-view of the ship at the dock

The Visitors' area on the main (3rd) floor.

The "Amphi-theater". It has capacity for about 1,500 guests. There was a concert, show or presentation here every night. Accessible from the 3rd to 5th floors.

The swimming pool from the top deck.

The casino : Opened 24 hours.

A pub for a pint or 2 : Opened 24 hours.

The ship's housekeeping did a good job of towel-origami in every room at least twice a day. It was always something different. This is an elephant. :)

The children daycare center on the 11th floor for children ages 6 months to 12 years old. They  had activities for every age group.

If You Like/Love Someone….

About two weeks ago, my daughter, a 5th grader, came home very upset about what one of her BFFs said to her in school. She said her friend wanted her (my daughter) to give her " some space", that she feels my daughter clings to her too much. So, I told my daughter not to take it too personally, that sometimes our friends do need their personal space and we need to respect our friends' wishes......At least she got to learn this important "life lesson" early, I told myself.

That conversation I had with my daughter brought this popular quote by Richard Bach to mind: " If you really love someone, let them go, if they are yours, they will come back". When I was much younger and naive, I did believe that quote. One of my main reference is the story of " The prodigal son", although, it can be argued that it is different from a boy-girl relationship.  
To me, this quote speaks about mutual love- reciprocate love. But oftentimes, in reality, it is not so, the scales are not usually balanced in a relationship. We sometimes expect too much from the people we love and care about. Like someone wrote and I quote " Love isn’t owned and cannot be taken. It can only be given.  If you love someone, you have to give them the freedom to choose for themselves".

However, as I grow older (I still cannot claim expertise in this department, though) my opinion about the quote is a little different. You see, when you love or like someone and you let them go, with or without their consent, your relationship with that person may not be the same again, and you are left with memories and questions- "what-shoulda-coulda?". 
When we love someone — whether it’s a spouse, family member or best friend — we always want them near us in order to cherish and be cherished.  -Quote from bet.com.

The Science of Love.

It’s that time of the year again ♥♥. *wink* *wink*. 
Share love and not diseases, people!……. Love is a beautiful thing, as the saying goes.
I find it interesting, though, that science has an explanation for love. This article was found on the BBC science website, it explains how the neurotransmitters and hormones are responsible for “those feelings” and also liken the events occurring in the brain when we are in love to be similar to mental illness…Ah! *wide-eyed*.

While I don’t quite agree with this theory, I am looking forward to the hypothesis that would shed light into what happens when we “ fall out of love”…....hehehehe..... That would be interesting to know.

So, read and be enlightened.

The Science of Love

• There are three phases to falling in love and different hormones are involved at each stage.
• Events occurring in the brain when we are in love have similarities with mental illness.
• When we are attracted to somebody, it could be because subconsciously we like their genes.
• Smell could be as important as looks when it comes to the “ fanciability factor". We like the look and smell of people who are most like our parents.
• Science can help determine whether a relationship will last.

Three Stages of Falling in Love

Stage 1: Lust

Lust is driven by the sex hormones testosterone and estrogen. Testosterone is not confined only to men. It has also been shown to play a major role in the sex drive of women. These hormones as Helen Fisher says "get you out looking for anything".

Stage 2: Attraction

This is the truly love-struck phase. When people fall in love they can think of nothing else. They might even lose their appetite and need less sleep, preferring to spend hours at a time daydreaming about their new lover.

In the attraction stage, a group of neurotransmitters called 'monoamines' play an important role:

• Dopamine - Also activated by cocaine and nicotine.
• Norepinephrine - Otherwise known as adrenalin. Starts us sweating and gets the heart racing.
• Serotonin - One of love's most important chemicals and one that may actually send us temporarily insane.

Stage 3: Attachment

This is what takes over after the attraction stage, if a relationship is going to last. People couldn't possibly stay in the attraction stage forever, otherwise they'd never get any work done!

Attachment is a longer lasting commitment and is the bond that keeps couples together when they go on to have children. Important in this stage are two hormones released by the nervous system, which are thought to play a role in social attachments:

• Oxytocin - This is released by the hypothalamus gland during child birth and also helps the breast express milk. It helps cement the strong bond between mother and child. It is also released by both sexes during orgasm and it is thought that it promotes bonding when adults are intimate. The theory goes that the more sex a couple has, the deeper their bond becomes.
• Vasopressin - Another important chemical in the long-term commitment stage. It is an important controller of the kidney and its role in long-term relationships was discovered when scientists looked at the prairie vole