If You Like/Love Someone….

About two weeks ago, my daughter, a 5th grader, came home very upset about what one of her BFFs said to her in school. She said her friend wanted her (my daughter) to give her " some space", that she feels my daughter clings to her too much. So, I told my daughter not to take it too personally, that sometimes our friends do need their personal space and we need to respect our friends' wishes......At least she got to learn this important "life lesson" early, I told myself.

That conversation I had with my daughter brought this popular quote by Richard Bach to mind: " If you really love someone, let them go, if they are yours, they will come back". When I was much younger and naive, I did believe that quote. One of my main reference is the story of " The prodigal son", although, it can be argued that it is different from a boy-girl relationship.  
To me, this quote speaks about mutual love- reciprocate love. But oftentimes, in reality, it is not so, the scales are not usually balanced in a relationship. We sometimes expect too much from the people we love and care about. Like someone wrote and I quote " Love isn’t owned and cannot be taken. It can only be given.  If you love someone, you have to give them the freedom to choose for themselves".

However, as I grow older (I still cannot claim expertise in this department, though) my opinion about the quote is a little different. You see, when you love or like someone and you let them go, with or without their consent, your relationship with that person may not be the same again, and you are left with memories and questions- "what-shoulda-coulda?". 
When we love someone — whether it’s a spouse, family member or best friend — we always want them near us in order to cherish and be cherished.  -Quote from bet.com.

The Science of Love.

It’s that time of the year again ♥♥. *wink* *wink*. 
Share love and not diseases, people!……. Love is a beautiful thing, as the saying goes.
I find it interesting, though, that science has an explanation for love. This article was found on the BBC science website, it explains how the neurotransmitters and hormones are responsible for “those feelings” and also liken the events occurring in the brain when we are in love to be similar to mental illness…Ah! *wide-eyed*.

While I don’t quite agree with this theory, I am looking forward to the hypothesis that would shed light into what happens when we “ fall out of love”…....hehehehe..... That would be interesting to know.

So, read and be enlightened.

The Science of Love

• There are three phases to falling in love and different hormones are involved at each stage.
• Events occurring in the brain when we are in love have similarities with mental illness.
• When we are attracted to somebody, it could be because subconsciously we like their genes.
• Smell could be as important as looks when it comes to the “ fanciability factor". We like the look and smell of people who are most like our parents.
• Science can help determine whether a relationship will last.

Three Stages of Falling in Love

Stage 1: Lust

Lust is driven by the sex hormones testosterone and estrogen. Testosterone is not confined only to men. It has also been shown to play a major role in the sex drive of women. These hormones as Helen Fisher says "get you out looking for anything".

Stage 2: Attraction

This is the truly love-struck phase. When people fall in love they can think of nothing else. They might even lose their appetite and need less sleep, preferring to spend hours at a time daydreaming about their new lover.

In the attraction stage, a group of neurotransmitters called 'monoamines' play an important role:

• Dopamine - Also activated by cocaine and nicotine.
• Norepinephrine - Otherwise known as adrenalin. Starts us sweating and gets the heart racing.
• Serotonin - One of love's most important chemicals and one that may actually send us temporarily insane.

Stage 3: Attachment

This is what takes over after the attraction stage, if a relationship is going to last. People couldn't possibly stay in the attraction stage forever, otherwise they'd never get any work done!

Attachment is a longer lasting commitment and is the bond that keeps couples together when they go on to have children. Important in this stage are two hormones released by the nervous system, which are thought to play a role in social attachments:

• Oxytocin - This is released by the hypothalamus gland during child birth and also helps the breast express milk. It helps cement the strong bond between mother and child. It is also released by both sexes during orgasm and it is thought that it promotes bonding when adults are intimate. The theory goes that the more sex a couple has, the deeper their bond becomes.
• Vasopressin - Another important chemical in the long-term commitment stage. It is an important controller of the kidney and its role in long-term relationships was discovered when scientists looked at the prairie vole

Dear God…..

Welcome February!

February the shortest month, the month that ends with the same day of the week as the month of October every year….Yep, you read that right. You can check your calendar to confirm.

Anyway, this post is not about the month of February. I found these prayer quotes I found online when I typed in “Dear God”.  It’s amazing the kind of things one would come up with on the internet. 

It was not out of boredom, I think it was borne out of finding the words to express some of my thoughts in the simplest way.

Warning: By the time you are done reading these quotes you would have said a prayer or two :)