Are We Loving Our Sons and Raising Our Daughters?

The other day a friend I was having a discussion with a friend of mine about parenting, comparing how we were raised and how we are raising our children.We both came to the conclusion that we are more or less raising our children the way our parents raised us,particularly with regards to the disparity between raising a girl-child and raising a boy-child.
 We tend to put more effort into raising our daughters, teaching  them right from wrong, what they need to wear, say and behave,in order not to get harassed by men, as well as conform to the societies expectations. Whereas, boys don’t often get to be taught with the same intensity, especially with regards to how to treat women well, how to talk to women,how to value and appreciate people.
We tell girls :“don’t get raped” , instead of teaching the boys “don’t rape”. When boys/men do wrong, society tends to say things  like “boys/men will be boys/men” while the girls/women are “scolded” for not being virtuous or not setting good examples for their children.
Society say that “ladies are meant to seen and not be heard” while the boys are allowed to "raise their voice" on any issue without restraint.

Got this piece from an article ‘how to build a man” in the magazine Esquire:
We want them to know that contrary to what people say, chivalry and feminism are reconcilable. It is called “holding the door for everyone, giving a hand to whomever needs it, lightening the load. We want them to understand the weight that a simple word of kindness or encouragement can carry in another person’s life. To ask for advice even when they don’t think they need it.

Research suggests that loving dads help pass on faith to their children.

By Jim Daly of Focusonfamily.com

In a previous blog post by Jim Daly, he wrote about passing along a faith that lasts to ones children. That post focused on the most important thing parents can do: live out a vibrant faith themselves.

It turns out,the key to getting faith across to children has a lot to do with the fathers.

In a New York Times article  that ran earlier this year, Prof. Vern L. Bengston shared the results of original research that shows how important family bonds are to passing on the faith.

In other words, without emotional bonding, doing all the “right things” may be for naught.

As the professor put it:

Fervent faith cannot compensate for a distant dad. A father who is an exemplar, a pillar of the church, but doesn’t provide warmth and affirmation to his kid does not have kids who follow him in his faith.

It’s amazing how central love is to the “formula” of raising kids.

I came to the same conclusion as I thought through the themes in my most recent book, “The Good Dad.” In it, I wrote:

I’ve come to picture parents’ relationship with their children as something like a playground tetherball. You, as the parent, are the pole. You’re not going anywhere. Your child is the ball. And the rope connecting you – the tether – is the love you share for each other. Your mutual affection is what connects you.