You Just Gotta Be, Hon!....

This is one my favorite '90s songs.The lyrics still have true and deep meaning, especially the chorus:
" You gotta be hard"- Be hard on yourself. In essence, stop giving yourself excuses.
" You gotta be tough"- Don't compromises on your core values, even in the face of struggles.
" You gotta be stronger"- Set goals and strive to achieve them.
   
We started a new year almost four weeks ago, the days and weeks are running by again. They seem to move faster as the years go by, or is it just me?
Honey, channel your energy into the needful, into the what makes you grow. Stay focused on your goals, you might not meet all of them, but put in your best and leave the rest to God. Whatever you have been putting off or postponing, try and get it done now, as the saying goes "time waits for no one".

I know you have it in you to succeed.
Let's claim all the blessings God has promised us in 2017.

Keep Shinning, Keep smiling ....xoxox

After 9/11.

   

      Phew!
   The US elections have finally come and gone.The world watched America decide amongst on overwhelming "oohs and "ahhs". I found this particular round of elections very disturbing from the beginning. The prospective candidates were either "not qualified" or "overly qualified". Hillary and Donald were not the perfect fit either. There were too many politically incorrectness.

  The outcome of the elections have reinforced my perspectives on some things, for instance:

1. Hard work and popularity do not get you what  you want:Hillary Clinton, who I rooted for, has been in the corridors of power since the '90s. She has worked hard to be where  she is now politically, but that did not get her what she wanted. Her gender did not even support her, even though she promised to advocate for women and their rights in the workplace.
2. People will do what they want to do: Regardless of what you say or what the obvious outcome is , people will do what they think would work for them. People will be people regardless of their their educational or religious background. There were many allegations aired and made public against Donald that were enough to jeopardize his political ambition. Allegations that would make anyone blush, allegations that would tarnish anyone's image. But guess what, America still voted for him. I guess we will find out if the majority is right.
3. Right and wrong does not matter anymore(This is like a continuation of #2):  There have been arguments about whether good moral character is one of the requirements to get into office- Well, I think, it is important for a public figure to be some sort of positive role model. 
4. Don't believe everything in the media, because the media can be bought: There are a lot of stuff going on behind the scenes that the media will never reveal. There are so many half truths and mind games in the media, especially in politics.
5. Even if you don't qualify for the job, go ahead and apply : Donald Trump was the least qualified for the POTUS position , from the stand point of political experience and diplomatic skills, but he got the job.....Now, would he perform at the job? That's another question all together.
6. There is no 'refuge' anywhere: Like most of us immigrants, refuge is sought in your host countries because you believe the "grass is greener" there , you believe you are safer and have more opportunities. However, the truth is, all the countries immigrants usually look up to- USA, Canada, UK, France, etc- for refuge are realizing that these countries are not as perfect as they thought.  This year alone we have seen the effects of Brexit and the fall in the price of crude oil. Countries are shutting their doors on refugees and immigrants because of limited resources.

 People, please make the best of wherever you are, improve yourself and your community. Make God your refuge and sanctuary.

Hey!!!!!

Hello Beautiful Peoples!

Anybody home?!.....* Clearing virtual cobweb and dust*

It's been a while, I know....Apologies. * blowing kisses*.

The past few months have been very busy and challenging- Lost my mum, Traveled to Nigeria for the funeral, Moved to another city, Back to new schools for the children....whew! I'm just catching my breath, literally.

...But hey, I am grateful to God for everything-There is always something to be grateful for, you know. I see every opportunity as a learning curve, growth and blessing opportunities. These past few months have helped me see life, family, friends in a new and different/better light.

My life is but a weaving between my God and me

I do not choose the colors; He worketh steadily.

Oft times He weaveth sorrow, and I in foolish pride

Forget He sees the upper-, and I the under-side.

Not till the loom is silent and the shuttles cease to fly

Will God unroll the canvas and explain the reasons why

The dark threads are as needful in a skillful weaver’s hand

As the threads of gold and silver, in the pattern he has planned.- Grant Tuller

If today is the best day of your life, it might not last. Tonight might be an inch short of hopeless; it won’t last either. Whatever has brought you to this moment is only part of the story of your life and relationship. The rest is yet to come. Put all of it—dark thorns and shining threads—into God’s hands, and he will sustain you.

—Wayne Brouwer

Jump!!

Every year, around the turn of the year, as most do, I set aside time to reflect on the year that’s ending and to think about the year ahead. In preparing to cross over in to the New Year, I often take time to seek out wisdom from trusted sources, to glean some wisdom as I prepare for the challenges and opportunities ahead.  This year, I happened upon a cross-over sermon titled "Forward Ever". 

Among the many thoughts shared in that sermon was an exhortation to identify and rid ourselves of "dumb things" that may exist in our lives. 

In essence, these are things/persons/habit/pursuits that are not/no longer beneficial to us. These are not necessarily evil things in the traditional sense. They may even be morally good or neutral things. What qualifies a thing as being “dumb” in this sense lies in its impact upon our lives/goals/aspirations at this point in time. In other words, these are things that draw or hold us back and prevent us from pursuing our goals with full devotion or that drain us of energy or resolve. They are leeches and parasites upon our will and strength and resources.  

Everyone comes to the end of a year with some regrets. We can all look back and identify missed opportunities or missteps. We can relate to making poor decisions or getting involved with projects, ventures and even relationships that did us more harm than good. When we come to that realization, the logical thing to do is to re-evaluate and move-on.  Unfortunately, we may lack the will power to do so, or procrastinate doing so till it is too late. 

An old story that is illustrative of this truth runs thus:
 If one attempts to place a healthy frog in hot water, the frog will jump out/away. It senses the danger and reacts instantly to preserve its own safety.

However, if one places that same frog in a pot of cold water and gradually heats the water up, the frog may adjust its body temperature and continue to do so until it is too late.  At that point, it has lost muscle strength and will die in a situation that it could have escaped from, had action been taken earlier.

What killed the frog?

Was it the temperature of the water, or the frog’s own complacency, procrastination and inaction?

This is very similar to the adjustments that people make to situations, relationships and challenges that have become chronic. Outsiders looking in wonder how a person could remain in an abusive relationship, or continue the same habits, or remain in the dead-end job for years. The answer is that adjustments have been made over time and now the individual feels stuck and unable to escape/change, or worse, has become comfortable with the situation.

So, in addition to setting goals and adjusting our priorities as we seek to move ahead this New Year, it is smart to take a thorough inventory of our lives: our priorities, commitments and relationships. Of course, we will need to adjust to people & situations, but we also need to be clear about what we need to jettison and when we need to move on. We will need to accept that some situations/relationships are irretrievably lost and the only healthy thing to do is to cut our losses and move on. And that takes courage.  If we allow people to exploit us physically, emotionally, financially, spiritually or mentally they will continue to do so.

Let's jump while we still have the strength!

Take a Licking and Keep on Ticking....

Welcome to the second half of this decade!

As we start this journey together, may our days be filled with laughter and peace . I pray for grace and wisdom for us all to climb the mountains, swim the oceans and have wings to soar high.

Be encouraged. Stand tall. You've got what it takes.

Happy 2016!!

My life is but a weaving between my God and me.

I do not choose the colors; He worketh steadily.

Oft times He weaveth sorrow, and I in foolish pride

Forget He sees the upper, and I the under-side.

Not till the loom is silent and the shuttles cease to fly

Will God unroll the canvas and explain the reasons why

The dark threads are as needful in a skillful weaver’s hand

As the threads of gold and silver, in the pattern he has planned.

Poem by Grant Tuller

What's Your Story?

....I am going to tell you about the months that I had anxiety over getting sick. On February 13, this year (yes, I remember the date). I got sick on a field trip. Later that day, I started to worry that I was going to be sick again, because I had gotten sick 3 times that day already. I had this same exact issue the previous year, but I think it was a different thing I was worrying about. 
Two months passed and I was still worrying the same thing! I remember that during the months that I was anxious, I wouldn't talk about anything else but this problem. I would cry almost everyday because I was so tired of worrying. I kept saying " I'm just so tired of this". But it didn't change anything. I would cry, complain, frown, and anything that was the opposite of happy.
But do you know what I didn't do? I didn't decide! I did not decide that I wan't going to worry anymore. it was like this would NEVER end. I tried everything my parents told me to do like : Deep breathing, distract my self with fun activities, writing down and repeating bible verses...everything!Nothing turned the worry off like a light switch.
I started listening to Joyce Meyer messages/sermons on YouTube , and that helped a little bit. I also  read one of her books ( Battlefield of the mind for kids). Sure enough, little by little the worry started to go away.
It took a HUGE a whole lot of bible verse confessions, deep breathing, walks AND deciding not to worry.
I am still learning that in EVERY circumstance I should trust God. I'm also learning that I have power over my thoughts and that I can chose my own thinking.
I am proud to say that after ALL those months, I have pretty much crossed over the finish line of worry and anxiety.

That, folks, is my 6th grader daughter's write-up for her God-story assignment a few weeks ago( A summary of a time in your life that God helped you). She gave me permission to share it here.:)
2015 has been a great year. It had it's ups and downs, no doubt, but we have our trophies and scars to show for making it this far.. And we are have what it takes to go into 2016.Amen!
I want you to think back from January of this year till now: What's your God-story?

Cultivations Thoughts

The other day a friend of mine packed a piece of cake for me to-go in a Chipotle® restaurant brown bag. There was a story on the back of the bag that resonates well with me. The story titled Two-minute Alchemy by Paulo Coelho, is as shared on the brown bag:

A legend tells of a man who used to carry water every day to his village, using 2 large pitchers tied on either end of a piece of wood, which he placed across his shoulders.

One of the pitchers was older than the other and was full of small cracks; every time the man came back along the path to his house, half of the water was lost.

For 2 years, the man made the same journey. The younger pitcher was always very proud of the way it did its work and was sure that it was up to the task for which it had been created, while the other pitcher was mortally ashamed that it could carry out only half its task, even though it knew that the cracks were the result of long years of work.

So ashamed was the old pitcher that, one day, while the man was preparing to fill it up with water from the well, it decided to speak with him.

" I wish to apologize because, due to my age, you only manage to take home half the water you fill me with, and thus quench only half the thirst awaiting you in your house"

The man smiled and said: "When we go back, be sure to take a careful look at the path"

The pitcher did as the man asked and noticed many flowers and plants growing along one side of the path.

" Do you see how much more beautiful nature is on your side of the road"? the man remarked. " I knew you had cracks, but I decided to take advantage of them. I sowed vegetables and flowers there, and you always watered them. I have picked dozens of roses to decorate my house, and my children have had lettuce, cabbage and onions to eat. If you were not the way you are, I could never have done this. 

We all , at some point, grow old and acquire other qualities, and these can always be turned to good advantage.

I hope this story encourages  someone out there who at some point don't feel relevant or feel inadequate....

Marriage Is Designed Mainly For Men!

Before you bite my head off, hear me out, okay....LOL!.... Please understand that this post is not a feminist piece nor is written as an attack on the institution of marriage. I am married  to a wonderful man and lovin' it! 
I would like to share my thought processes on why I think that men benefit disproportionately from marriage compared with women. Although societal views may differ, both biblical and research evidence supports this assertion.

First of all, the passage in Genesis 2 (Verse 18-25) , which records the creation of man suggests that God foresaw that men would need help and would not handle loneliness well......*hehehehe*.... 
Verse 18 says " God saw that it is not good that man should be alone: I will make him a helper  suitable for him ".
Interestingly, recent research findings support this biblical perspective.
 An article in the 2/23-3/2/15 Time Magazine edition titled "Do married people really live longer?" states that the so-called "marriage effect" doesn't appear to benefit men and women equally..

The Terman Life-Cycle Study- an ongoing research project that began following more than 1,500 people in 1921 - found that whereas steadily married men  were more likely to live substantially longer than divorced  or remarried man, divorced women lived almost as long as their married peers.

"Women who thrived in a good marriage stayed especially healthy", explains Howard S. Friedman, a professor of  psychology at the University of California, Riverside, and author of the Longevity Project, which continues to build on the Terman research. It further states that "women who stayed single, got and stayed divorced or were widowed often lived quite long without the burdens of husband trouble. They have good friends instead". This is consistent with other research that shows that strong social connections and friendship are especially important factors in healthy aging.

 A few months ago I wrote a post about "what men and women gain from the marriage institution". Although not exhaustive, the list of benefits for men is slightly longer than that of women. 

My conclusion: 
Men benefit from marriage more than women do, although there are advantages for both sexes. For me, the main benefits that I have  experienced are: Emotional support and sense of commitment.
So men, Appreciate your wives. In the words of proverbs, she "adds years to your life" -  literally.
For the guys out there, that are still looking for "the one", make sure she is a friend. :)

Reach Out And Touch!

We are all in pursuit of something. We all get caught up in our own struggles and every day routines. Unfortunately, we can become so self-absorbed that we get disconnected from people around us.

In today's world where self- dependence and competition have become our mantra, and where digital and electronic distractions abound and compete for our attention, we need to be reminded more often about the importance of community, family and friendship: of being supportive of each other, helping one another and of being present in the moment when with others.

 

An African proverb says:"If you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to go far, go together".

*Years ago, anthropologist Margaret Mead was asked by a student what she considered to be the first sign of civilization in a culture. The student expected Mead to talk about fishhooks or clay pots or grinding stones. But no. Mead said that the first sign of civilization in an ancient culture was a femur (thigh bone) that had been broken and then healed.

Mead explained that in the animal kingdom, if you break your leg, you die. You cannot run from anger, get to the river for a drink or hunt for food. You are meat for prowling beasts. No animal survives a broken leg long enough for the bone to heal.

A broken femur that has healed is evidence that someone has taken the time to stay with the one who 
fell, has bound up the wound, has carried the person to safety and has tended the person through recovery. Helping someone else through difficulty is where 
civilization starts, Mead said.

..So, then the question that come to mind is: Is civilization more evident in today's world?

♫Reach out and touch somebody's hand, make this world a better place ♪....- Diana Ross

*Culled from a devotional.

From the Inside Out!

Woke up one morning with bumps and rash on my arms  and trunk. I ran through a mental list of possible causes and ruled out the new medication that I started a few days prior. 
I ruled out dietary causes, jewelry, clothes, but thought it could possibly be a reaction to a new hair product. 
Nothing changed for a few days, though oral anti-histamine and steroidal anti-itch cream gave some relief. 

As a pharmacist, I knew enough to institute empirical treatment with topical steroids and oral antihistamines.  
This did help, but I could not stop puzzling over what the cause might be. 
While researching this topic, I stumbled upon an online article in Woman's Day that listed rash as one of the many manifestations of stress. 
Here's the excerpt from the article;

 It sounds strange, but your skin can be a pretty good barometer of your stress level. "Stress can cause a rash, usually raised red spots or hives on the stomach, back, arms and face," notes Dr. Lombardo. "While we don't know why it occurs, some experts believe that it has to do with the adverse effects of stress on the immune system—histamine is released, causing these itchy bumps."

That was a wake-up call.  I realized the tendency to underrate or downplay the importance of emotional health in many cultures (including mine) has negative outcomes. 

Research strongly backs the notion that many health conditions are either caused or exacerbated by stress and emotional/psychological disorders. Often, tension, stress and other emotional disorders that go unrecognized or unacknowledged manifest as insomnia, back pain, tension/stress headache, stomach or intestinal and even sexual problems.  

Women, especially, need to pay attention to physical symptoms that may herald unrecognized emotional distress - feelings of listlessness, irritability, heaviness, stress,  angry outbursts etc. 

It is important to create some mental “space” and to develop healthy coping outlets that allow processing of strong emotion and to have healthy outlets for those emotions and frustrations. 

Helpful coping mechanisms include: Sound Sleep, Meditation, Prayer, Walking, Leisure reading, to name a few.
Stay well...Be well.xoxoxo